This message was posted:
> Hopefully someone can help me with some advice....
>
> I had a really bad trip this weekend (My first trip actually). I took
> half a 'California Sunshine' about 1 am on Saturday morning.
>
> I became extremely paranoid and could not stop thinking whether I'm ever
> going to feel normal again or not. Luckily my girlfriend was there to
> talk to me the whole time, so that made it a little better. But even
> now, I still don't know whether I'm quite normal. I have this fear
> inside me that I'm actually doing my day-by-day activities in auto mode
> and that the actually me is still scared of feeling funny.Anon. then wrote:
I had a similar experience 2 weeks ago on a full tab of "Fat Freddies". I took it at 22h30 on Friday evening with a friend of mine - wasn't really feeling up to it because I felt really tired, but I did it anyway :-(
The first part of the evening was fine - but I couldn't stand the cold. It was icy, I could literally see the ice on buildings, lamp posts, roadsigns etc and I felt so cold. Anyway after tripping for a while I was starting to feel really awful because I was really physically fatigued for some reason and the cold weather wasn't helping. My friend and myself parted ways about 6 hours through the trip and I went home, sat under a blanket watching tv and thinking to myself, "shit, what a stupid thing to do, I should have waited until tommorrow when it was nice and warm and I could enjoy myself".
I wanted to sleep but I couldn't. Then I decided to smoke some weed that I had with me. Big mistake. 5 minutes later It was as if all the bad feelings that I was having up until then were magnified a hundred times. I felt like I was going absolutely crazy, losing my mind - I could hear my heartbeat pounding and I could feel my blood bubbling through my veins. I was having these heinous ugly wicked hallucinations which I thought at the time were the result of my brain splitting into little pieces. I could hear noises inside my head. Unfortunately I convinced myself that I was being brain damaged and I was going to die. This put me in a very vulnerable situation as I was having these psychotic thoughts that I should phone my parents or an ambulance or something, because if I didn't, in the morning someone was going to stumble across this brain dead person who couldn't even finish a sentence comprehensively.
My younger brother stays with me, so I woke him at about 4 in the morning. If he wasn't there I probably would have lost it. Anyway, he saw me through to the morning and when the sun came up I realized I wasnt going to die and things started getting better.
I was left with this empty, almost insecure feeling for about two days afterwards, as if I had irreversibly changed my personality to something which I didn't like and I was responding to neutral situations in a negative light. I had this strange underlying feeling of fear.
It faded though - fairly rapidly. Every time I went to sleep, I woke up feeling a lot more like me.
Acid is powerful stuff and it can put you in some pretty scary mind spaces that you might not want to be in. I don't deny however that it was my stupidity in ignoring set and setting that caused my bad trip. Use with care.
Anon.
9 June 1998
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