"I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. I've never done coke or crack, never had the desire and never will. But 4 years ago I met and fell in love with a wonderful guy who was open and honest about his past adddiction to crack. He was sensitive, generous, always talking about our future together.

He was really good for me and my 3 teenage boys. He assured me his addiction was in the past and he'd never something like that ruin his life again. He loved me too much. After about a year, his behavior started to change. He disappeared on me for a weekend. When he came back, he tried to turn the arguement around to make me think I was the one who was unreasonable.

I went through a few months of hell and depression before I realized what was going on. It took that long before he confessed but by then, my trust was gone. I asked him to move out and after he tore the house apart, pushed me around and scared the hell out of my kids, he left. He was a mess. And he scared me. He did eventually clean up his act and get himself clean.

I gave him another chance. That was a year ago. He's been doing so good this past year but it's taken that long to build the trust up again. I just moved into a house with him and finally gave up the
security of having my own house because he was doing so good.

Now here I am, sitting here wondering where he is. He should have been home 2 days ago. I know what he's done, all the money in the bank is gone. I'm a wreck. Don't touch that stuff please. It's not nice at all, it's a nightmare with a sweet dream face."

Anon. via webtv.net

17th September 1999

Disclaimer This Guide is provided for informational purposes ONLY. RaveSafe, it's volunteers and its sponsors do not condone or advocate the use of illegal substances. RaveSafe accepts NO responsibility for the way the information in this used, nor for any harm that might occur from the use of the information contained in this document. Although a concerted effort has been made to ensure the validity of the information contained in this document, no guarantees or assurances of accuracy are provided by anyone. Read and act at your own risk.